The Kitchen Floor

Growing up I responded to a slew of nicknames along with my given name. Along the way, people called me other things, some kind and silly, others hateful and hurtful. I had heard in Sunday School and within the walls of my home that I was loved, a daughter of the King, and a sinner saved by grace alone. But those truths didn’t drown out the name-calling of peers, the toxicity of competitions, or the reality that most of society is just downright mean. Adults I trusted had labeled me in each arena. Goody-two-shoes, the pastor’s kid, slut, fatty, brat, stupid, the reason their family was in distress, the problem. One moment that the enemy loves to replay in my mind involved a woman, who claimed to be a believer, standing over me screaming that I was worthless, the issue, and deserved to be miserable. It was one of the most vulnerable moments in my life, and one I will share in detail with only the closest of confidants to protect people I love. The enemy was there that day, he knew exactly what was being spewed over me and delighted in every second. BUT GOD was also there, and He had His arms wrapped firmly around me, got me to safety, and spent the next few years teaching me about my identity, how to forgive, and broke a yoke of people pleasing. Even though that moment was years ago, it is easy to remember the smells, textures, and sounds of that day. My brain can replay it like it was seconds ago in a televised sporting event and we just got the instant replay while waiting for the referee’s call. That doesn’t make it an ok place for my thoughts to go. Even as I type this up I am forgiving the hurt that still feels heavy and broken in me as I remember it all. I have been cradled by the Holy Spirit, the ultimate comforter, and given the ability to release the pain, bitterness, and grieve what should have been. Without that day, my testimony would look drastically different, my marriage wouldn’t be as strong as it is now, and I wouldn’t have the authority that comes with healing to share these things with you. God uses everything for His Glory, even the moments we cannot fathom could be redeemed.

Truth is what set me free from those toxic lies, and the long list of others I had believed about myself. It weighs heavily on my heart when I see people I love choose to believe the lies of the enemy and turn from God. Satan is a liar, his entire goal is to convince you to turn away from a loving creator by putting just enough truth in the lie that you swallow it. The enemy will do everything he can to keep you from learning about your identity in Christ. Genesis 1:27 While we see things from an earthly view and perspective, the spiritual realm sees things from a spiritual one. If we could see what is reality from a spiritual perspective we would see the enemy shake in fear over us learning who we were created to be. But we would also silence our own negative self-talk. The enemy only has to give us a split-second experience, a thought, or maybe a full traumatic event, and we will replay it on a loop that feels hopeless in our minds. Christ was not crucified and resurrected for you to live in mental and emotional bondage. John 10:10 He came to give us life to the fullest. If we start taking those thoughts captive and releasing them to Christ, He can repair our way of thinking to a right way of thinking. 2 Corinthians 10:5.

My mental state and perception of myself was so influenced by those around me I suffered with anorexia from the time I was 10-years-old to well into my twenties. It wasn’t until I dug into the Word on who God said I am that I found freedom. John 8:32. I always had the foundational knowledge that I was a sinner, and I didn’t deserve what Jesus had done for me. I knew I would be forever in debt to the Lord for His sacrifice. But what I didn’t learn until later in my life, was who I was BECAUSE of what Jesus did for me. I didn’t know my own identity! I didn’t know I had the power of THE Holy Spirit actively alive in me, ready to fight the battle on my behalf that was daunting!

My hope today in this Kitchen Floor session is that you will know who you are and whose you are. This moment in real time looks like me sending kids to play, so we can get real and I can speak truth and life into you. You are so valuable to the Kingdom, and it is an honor to share what I have learned with you. But first, you have to put on the Belt of Truth. Don’t know what that is? AWESOME! We are going to have a whole conversation on Spiritual warfare and armor soon! I cannot wait to share that moment with you. But for today’s purpose, the belt of truth is a piece of God’s armor He has given us to wear. Truth is what is certain under any circumstance, it holds us together. Jesus is what will hold us together while we not only learn our identity and heal, but as we live out the callings on our lives. John 14:6. You cannot hold yourself together, it’s impossible! I have been guilty of trying to do that myself more times than I would like to admit. But He can! He can change the generations in your family. He is the power we need in our lives.

I am going to break this down into three subcategories of identity: male, female, and then ones that apply to us all. This is going to have to be shared in multiple posts, because it’s too much for one! Let’s start with the fellas! Girls, keep reading because sometimes we need a perspective shift on the men in our lives too!

Jesus started his ministry by choosing 12 young men to join him, be closest to Him, My hope today in this Kitchen Floor session is that you will know who you are and whose you are. This moment in real time looks like me sending kids to play, so we can get real and I can speak truth and life into you. You are so valuable to the Kingdom, and it is an honor to share what I have learned with you. But first, you have to put on the Belt of Truth. Don’t know what that is? AWESOME! We are going to have a whole conversation on Spiritual warfare and armor soon! I cannot wait to share that moment with you. But for today’s purpose, the belt of truth is a piece of God’s armor He has given us to wear. Truth is what is certain under any circumstance, it holds us together. Jesus is what will hold us together while we not only learn our identity and heal, but as we live out the callings on our lives. John 14:6. You cannot hold yourself together, it’s impossible! I have been guilty of trying to do that myself more times that I would like to admit. But He can! He can change the generations in your family. He is the power we need in our lives. be discipled by Him. Men, you are called disciples by Jesus Luke 6:13. He wants you to follow after Him, learn His ways, and live out your lives to be Christ-like. He didn’t spend the time before His ministry on earth ended alone; He spent it with chosen Disciples. These guys were tradesmen, not scholars or priests. They were in the daily grind, and Jesus called them to do life with Him. That is discipleship, doing life closely enough that you begin to look, act, talk, and move like the one you are with.

They were being discipled in every area by Christ, just as we should be. What is right to ingest entertainment-wise, nutrition-wise, educationally, spiritually, mentally, ect. They had a very close circle of friends who were all pursuing being discipled by Christ, their circle of influence. They didn’t go back to their hometowns and hang out with old buddies who were still doing things the way they had before Jesus. They knew they were set apart, they had a calling, and they were determined to do things the way Christ had showed them. Now, don’t forget that after Jesus had been crucified they did doubt He would be resurrected, to the point they were corrected by Christ when he appeared to them after his resurrection for their doubt and hardness of heart. Only 2 disciples even went to see if the women who had gone to the tomb were telling the truth! When Christ reappeared to them, Thomas doubted what the others said, and they all thought He was a ghost at first. These were the same 11 men who had walked along with him! But even in all their doubt until Christ reappeared to them, they didn’t fall back into old ways. They stayed together, discussing what Christ had said and trying to figure it all out. It’s so important you surround yourself with those who will keep you from reverting back to old ways.

If you’re like the generation I grew up with you will allow experiences to put you on a spiritual high, you go home and do devotions for the first few days, or if you’re really committed, weeks post that experience. But then life will consume you. For teens, hanging out with friends before they leave for college will become a priority. For parents, we let the mundane tasks and needs take the megaphone of urgency and we let our spiritual life take a back burner role again. BUT there are a few, set apart, called and on fire who will keep walking the walk and pursuing Christ while continuing to steward the life God has given them. The only difference between which path you will take depends on your commitment to fighting the fight for your own relationship with the Lord. You will find you have to fight harder to maintain the ground you have gained spiritually than you will to gain new victories.

It’s important to be under the mentoring of someone ahead of you in their walk, who can pour into you, and help you learn as you go. But don’t discount the Holy Spirit as your mentor. Sometimes (as with me), no one steps up and eagerly pours into you, but the Holy Spirit will guide you as you dig into the Word; He will give understanding. As you make decisions in your life, He will give you direction if you listen and ask. Being mentored by elders in your life is a gift, don’t discount those saints that need pillows for the pew. They have been through it and still come to worship.

I’m going to wrap up this post for now, but I will continue this series in identity. Sometimes you need to process in portions, like courses in a meal. You don’t want it all at once, or it won’t be as enjoyable and easy to consume as it is when it’s coming out at the perfect temp, one course at a time, for you to enjoy. Speaking of food, I need to go feed the Tribe. You’re welcome to sit here as long as you need, ask questions, and we can chat about it more in-depth as I prep the meal. You’re not a distraction, a hinderance, or an inconvenience. I’m glad you’re here!